I have a condition.

It is called Snap-a-neck-at-a-trail Syndrome, and I think it is incurable.

I seem to be most affected by this problem when I am on a long road trip through an area I have not been before. It also affects me when I fly in planes over forested areas. It started around 1990 or so, oddly enough right about the same time I bought my first 4x4.

The symptoms include rapid twisting of the neck while driving, often accompanied by a convulsive arm movement with the index finger pointing in the direction that the head is turned. Sometimes the head almost turns around backwards, straining the neck muscles.

In planes it results in an unsightly red spot on the forehead caused by pushing against that little micro window which is never right beside your seat. I think others may have this condition as well and may not know it. I'll bet after reading this you may go, "Hey, I knew I had something!"

Of course the easiest thing to do is just ignore the trail, track or cool-looking rock outcropping and the symptoms will subside over time. But as with other addictions, I think it may be nearly impossible to overcome. Luckily, the condition is easy to control. Rather than just take the same old trail time and time again, just turn and follow your nose down that new route - who knows where it will take you?

I also have another condition as well, called Modify-a-car-itis.

This one may be worse. If you look out in your driveway and every vehicle you own has some type of add-on accessory or modification, my friend, you are afflicted.

I knew I had it pretty bad but I confirmed this condition a few days ago. I was on a drive down to the border to pick up parts for installs in the magazine. I was driving the wife's PT Cruiser. Now, it is a nice small car with lots of room and it's well suited for these trips to the border, not to mention that it saves my ass whenever my trucks break down-which seems to be happening a little too often lately, but I digress! This particular round trip takes four hours, during which my mind tends to wander.

I thought, "Heck, this thing would be pretty cool with a Hemi under the hood!" I then proceeded to use all four hours to completely plan the build-up. If you have been following my last few builds you know by now I can get pretty creative with our projects.

From engine and tranny, tubing the rear for a Ford 9-inch, welding up the rear doors to stiffen the body and turn it into a panel van – to fabricating a new a higher hood to cover the engine – I had it all planned!

Only one little glitch - it's the wife's car, and she knows me well enough to cringe a bit when I said to her I wanted to "Hemi" her PT. Needless to say, I dropped that pretty fast.

Okay, so how do you know if you have modify-a-car-itis?

#1. Well, all the car modifications for one.

#2. If you find you have a really cool car or truck and your wife asks you to sleep in it - you better take stock.

#3. Yes, it is more important to pay the mortgage than to buy a blower for your 350 Chevy.

This condition is also manageable (though beating it usually seems to coincide with an empty bank account).

Once you think you have either of these conditions, the first step to recovery is admitting it. But wait a second, who really cares if you get better? It's really not that bad, is it? I should offer some advice to help you cope, though: if you have laid out some cool plans for your wife's car during a long drive, it's probably best to keep them to yourself!

Albert Vandervelde
Editor, 4WD Magazine